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I've been so absent-minded lately. Just this morning I forgot to wake up and go to work.
about 7 hours ago
from Birdhouse
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"I don't need more friends. You got friends and all they do is ask you to help them move. Fuck that. I'm old. I'm through moving shit."
about 14 hours ago
from web
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"If I could control the space-time continuum, I'd be with you." sounds really sweet until you realise he's too cheap to buy an air ticket.
5:34 PM Nov 15th
from Birdhouse
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I get a virus on my computer the same day Obama is in town. Coincidence? I thinkSECURITY THREAT FOUND
6:07 PM Nov 14th
from Birdhouse
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"A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face.. My point? You have an ingrown fucking toenail. Stop bitching."
11:26 AM Nov 13th
from web
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I seem to have gained weight despite watching what I eat. Anyway, let me review this tape from Burger King again.
4:36 PM Nov 12th
from Birdhouse
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Obama's coming to Singapore! This makes me weak in the knees. Well, just the one I've been on, preparing for my proposal.
5:08 PM Nov 11th
from Birdhouse
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It's hard to complain about your boss micromanaging you when he's a midget.
6:03 PM Nov 10th
from Birdhouse
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"Remember this: you're just a lucky fucking guy. If people start telling you your dick looks bigger, remember that it's not."
11:22 AM Nov 10th
from web
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If I owned a network, I'd give @ a TV show and call it Stuff My Daddy Says.
If you know what I mean.
10:15 PM Nov 9th
from web
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The train station announcement said to call the police if we spot any suspiscious person or article so I reported myself.
5:10 PM Nov 9th
from Birdhouse
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"You look just like Stephen Hawking...Relax, I meant like a non-paralyzed version of him. Feel better?... Fine. Forget I said it."
1:36 PM Nov 9th
from web
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It's as if Americans have forgotten that today is 9/11.
6:52 AM Nov 9th
from Birdhouse
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"I had a flashforward that I'd be late to work on Monday morning and it came true!"
"..."
"Yup, that's how you reacted in my vision, Boss."
5:08 PM Nov 8th
from Birdhouse
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The need to pee
You should heed urgently
If not, quite suddenly
Trickle, trickle down your knee.
5:44 PM Nov 7th
from Birdhouse
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"Mom and I saw a great movie last night...No, don't remember the name. It was about a guy or, no, wait.. fuck, getting old sucks."
12:30 PM Nov 7th
from web
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My momma always said, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know if it's halal."
4:47 PM Nov 5th
from Birdhouse
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Hey! Look at me! I'm American and watching the World Series and eating a hot dog!
8:16 PM Nov 4th
from Birdhouse
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I don't know if missing my work bus-stop was real or a dream but anyway, I'm safe home now.
4:44 PM Nov 4th
from Birdhouse
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"Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn't invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."
10:40 AM Nov 4th
from web
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