ConanOBrien
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Watched “Boardwalk Empire” last night. Needs more Snooki.
about 2 hours ago
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After 9 hours driving from drug store to drug store, it hit me: no one sells Columbus Day decorations.
about 22 hours ago
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The Nobel Prize in Science has gone to scientists who created an ultra-thin carbon. Actually it's normal thickness, but wearing stripes.
12:09 PM Oct 9th
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The White House announced it's switching to solar power. As a result, 20% of Americans now think Obama is an Apollo-worshipper.
11:22 AM Oct 8th
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The Chilean Miners could be released this weekend… just in time to see Michael Bolton sing on DWTS. Guys, what’s an extra day?
8:58 AM Oct 7th
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We're flying a giant orange "CONAN" blimp over the baseball playoffs. Finally, subtlety in advertising.
2:07 PM Oct 6th
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A lot of people are upset with me. Sorry, I should have warned you that my new desk washing promo is NSFW:
1:18 PM Oct 5th
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Okay, I admit it. I find Meg Whitman’s ex-nanny weirdly attractive.
8:46 AM Oct 4th
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Rahm Emanuel has left the White House to run for Mayor of Chicago. Wow, and I thought I was the only one moving to a lower-paying job.
11:54 AM Oct 3rd
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CNN’s Rick Sanchez said the Jews run CNN. Ah, so that’s who we blame for Rick Sanchez.
11:58 AM Oct 2nd
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The White House is proposing a way to spy on suspects while they're online. The plan is called "Signing them up for Facebook."
8:41 AM Oct 1st
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David Hasselhoff was kicked off of “Dancing With the Stars.” He should stick to singing. I mean acting. I mean…
8:34 AM Sep 30th
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The Wall Street sequel made 19 million this past weekend. Of course, some of that is federal bail-out money.
12:15 PM Sep 29th
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Today I answer another fan question in a new video. And no, it's not "why do you own nightvision goggles?" Watch here:
11:05 AM Sep 28th
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Lost a twenty dollar bet on the Raiders. I was sure the Tusken Raiders were in all 3 “Star Wars” prequels.
2:13 PM Sep 27th
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Rmbr – dooont Twet whljik you driv. It is dngrou7s
11:40 AM Sep 26th
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Today Sarah Killen is getting married. I got her a Hamilton Beach dual wave blender. Thank you, Craigslist!
12:55 PM Sep 25th
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We shouldn’t name hurricanes. It only encourages them.
1:59 PM Sep 24th
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I like to think of myself as a taller, paler, freckled, non-Italian Danny DeVito.
9:25 AM Sep 23rd
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Fall officially starts today in Los Angeles. Time to put away my shorts and break out my slightly thicker shorts.
10:44 AM Sep 22nd
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